1. Ignore the two basic commandments and have neither love for God, nor for man. If you have no love for God, you will fail to do His will and if you have no love for man, then you will successfully hamper all efforts to build the church, being an anti-missionary. Through your lack of faith and compassion, your heart will turn to stone and you will be renowned for your lack of love through cruel acts and words.

2. Associate your church with marginal sects and movements, thus compromising it and separating it from the mainstream. The resulting spiritual isolation will greatly help to discredit your church.

3. Show no interest in and mock the history, language, psychology and customs of the country where your church is and always actively oppose the veneration of that country’s local saints, publicly mocking people who do so.

4. Show no interest in the life of your church and make it clear that you will spend as little time as possible there, refusing to visit any parishes and leaving as soon as possible after arriving and talking to as few local people as possible, if you have the misfortune of having to visit them.

5. Make clear your feelings that you are superior to everyone else by despising clergy and people alike, publicly making rude and unpleasant comments about them because they are not at your imagined superior level.

6. Since you believe that you are superior in every way to others, behave dictatorially and do not consult local people who have local knowledge, ordain as many dishonest men clergy as possible and appoint as many dishonest laypeople as possible to positions of responsibility. After you have done this, do not defrock the clergy whom you wrongly ordained or sack the laypeople whom you wrongly appointed, against the advice of everyone else, because that would show your incompetence. Make sure that they continue as clergy and persons of responsibility for as long as possible, ignoring any complaints about them for as many years as possible and allowing them to do the maximum amount of damage.

7. Refuse to ordain any good candidates. In this way you can make sure that you will frustrate any missionary work that is being done despite your best efforts to stop it.

8. Insult, bully, discourage, despise and humiliate your clergy as often as possible. Be very demanding with them, categorical in everything, making sure that they are exhausted. Your self-centredness will be very helpful here, as it will make you quite blind to their needs.

9. Try to make sure that any remaining good clergy leave for other dioceses or other countries, especially if they are more popular than you. After all, you must always be Number One. In this way you will automatically become a big fish, simply because your pond is so tiny.

10. Always use reverse psychology, rewarding, promoting and protecting bad clergy and exiling, excluding and ignoring good clergy. Make the bad clergy your favourites, believing their slanders and protecting them from criticism, and always support any troublemakers against the innocent – this will be very effective in creating distrust and division – divide and rule is after all one of your chief aims. This will result in the demoralization and paralysis of the good clergy and empty the parishes – something that you can be proud of. In this way, anything that survives in your church will be in spite of you, not because of you.

11. As you are hypocritical and insincere, you can also be inconsistent, with one rule for some, the opposite for others, being excessively strict when you should be lenient and excessively lenient when you should be strict. In this way you will discourage the good and encourage the bad, which will help enormously in wrecking your church.

12. Through your bullying, intimidation, mean criticisms and cruelty make sure that everyone is wary of you, creating a permanent state of nervous tension and dread of your presence as the playground bully, because nobody knows what or who you will attack next. In this case you will not be invited to your neglected church very often and so you will have even more time for yourself.

13. Whenever possible, take petty revenge on those who dare to tell the truth, contradict you and resist you, destroying and demeaning them and their churches. Ensure that you create the maximum amount of injustices and scandals among the faithful, this will help make your church even smaller and give you even less to do.

14. If you have to admit that you have had ‘difficulties’ (you never admit that you were wrong), always be insincere in your half-apologies and always justify yourself by blaming others for the difficulties. Remember that as they are intellectually and culturally inferior to you they do not understand, whereas you of course do.

15. Never show any appreciation or thank your clergy for anything they do, despite your discouragement, but forget them, find fault with them and discourage them, finally crushing them.

16. Love prestige, honours and flattery, and get as many photographs of yourself taken as possible with the important, rich and famous. These you can admire in your leisure time and they will further boost your ego. On the other hand, do not bother to talk to the ordinary clergy and people who populate your church, they are below you, and make sure that they know that you openly despise them.

17. Never forget that all you have done will leave your church traumatized for decades to come. The damage you have done is lasting and will be spoken about for generations. You can feel proud of yourself. Well done!

18. Never think for one moment that you have been seen through, that everyone knows you, and that is why they avoid you, and that you will be judged, if not in this world, then in the next.

19. Always strive to forget that, despite the damage you have done locally, you will never succeed in destroying the Church as a whole because it belongs to God, not to man, especially not to you.

20. Forget that God can at any moment demand back from you your soul that He has loaned you for a time and never tremble for fear of Him.